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Producing Healthy Families, Part One HELP US LORD TO BE SO CONNECTED TO YOU THAT WE MIGHT BE THE SERVANT OF OTHERS.. TAKE OUR LIPS AND SPEAK THROUGH THEM, THE STORY IS TOLD OF AN ELDERLY LADY WHO ASKS A LITTLE GIRL… HOW MANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS DO YOU HAVE? SHE PROUDLY ANSWERS…I HAVE 7. THE LADY, TAKEN ABACK SAYS WOW, WHAT A HIGH NUMBER, 7 CHILDREN MUST COST A LOT OF MONEY! THE GIRL ANSWERS… OH NO, WE DON’T BUY THEM, WE JUST RAISE THEM! RAISING CHILDREN, NO SMALL JOB IN THIS DAY AND AGE, WHETHER WE ARE SINGLE, OR MARRIED. ESPECIALLY IN WASHINGTON… WHERE IT JUST SEEMS TO ME THAT LIFE IS MORE COMPLICATED, IN FACT, IN 1982, PHYLLIS THEROUX WROTE AN ARTICLE IN THE WASHINGTON POST MAGAZINE CALLED: WHY IT’S SO TOUGH TO RAISE A FAMILY IN WASHINGTON… IN IT SHE QUOTED A PARENT AS SAYING… I’VE LIVED IN 4 CITIES, NEW YORK, THERE IS MORE PRESSURE ON PARENTS IN WASHINGTON THAN ANY OTHER CITY I’VE LIVED IN. THE PRESSURE TO PLEASE PEOPLE AT WORK, MEETING DEADLINES, AND TO OBSCURE YOUR REAL FEELINGS ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND TO WHAT USE IT’S BEING PUT. RING A BELL? IT JUST SEEMS TO ME THAT THE LIVES OF OUR CHILDREN SEEM TO BE MORE COMPLICATED. FOR INSTANCE, DID YOU KNOW THAT IN OUR SUNDAY SCHOOL AND YOUTH GROUP HERE AT ALL SAINTS’, OUR CHILDREN REPRESENT 36 DIFFERENT PRIVATE AND PUBLIC SCHOOLS? AND WHEN YOU COMBINE THAT WITH THE CHALLENGES OF TODAY’S MODERN GENERATION, A GENERATION THAT SEEMS TO BE TAKING STEPS AWAY FROM BIBLICALLY CENTERED VALUES AND MORALS, A GENERATION THAT SEEMINGLY WORSHIPS BUSY-NESS… OUR FAMILIES CAN GET TURNED UPSIDE DOWN! CONSIDER THIS… THE GOVERNOR OF UTAH (OF ALL PLACES) SAID THAT IF THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE EVER FALLS FROM GRACE, OUR SOCIETY WILL FALL AS WELL BECAUSE THERE IS NO INSTITUTION THAT CAN TAKE ITS PLACE. CONSIDER THESE STATISTICS: MARRIAGE IS NOW AT A 40 YEAR LOW, THIS ACCORDING TO A RECENT REPORT BY THE NATIONAL MARRIAGE PROJECT. SOME DEMOGRAPHERS ARE PREDICTING THAT 85% OF YOUNG AMERICANS WILL NEVER MARRY… WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID THEY WON’T BE HAPPY! ANOTHER PAINFUL STATISTIC… 20 YEARS AGO, 18% OF BABIES BORN IN THE UNITED STATES ENTERED THE WORLD WITHOUT THE BENEFIT OF MOTHER-FATHER MARRIAGE. ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR HEALTH STATISTICS, THAT FIGURE IS NOW AT 32.4%, AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, ONLY 1/3 OF THAT FIGURE CONSISTS OF TEENAGE MOTHERS. MY FRIENDS, A HEALTHY FAMILY LIFE HINGES ON HEALTHY MARRIAGES, AND OVER THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS, LOOKING OVER THE LANDSCAPE, OBSERVING MARRIAGES AND FAMIILY LIVES, I HAVE HAD A BURDEN ON MY HEART TO PRODUCE A PREACHING SERIES ON WHAT I’M CALLING: PRODUCING HEALTHY FAMILIES. THIS MORNING I WANT TO FOCUS ON FAMILY LIFE THROUGH THE EYES OF A MOTHER… THROUGH MARY… IN FACT, SHE GIVES US TODAY’S TITLE…MARY MATTERS FOR MOTHERHOOD… NEXT WEEK, USING PAUL’S SERMON IN CORINTHIANS, WE WILL LOOK AT PRINCIPLES FOR FAMILY LIFE… AND OUR FINAL PIECE, WILL BE A LOOK AT JOSEPH, THE EARTHLY FATHER OF JESUS AND WHAT HE HAS TO TELL US ABOUT FATHERHOOD…AND I CAN TELL YOU, IT’S MORE THAN YOU THINK! AND I THINK IT IS SO APPROPRIATE TO PRESENT THIS SERIES HERE IN EPIPHANY, THAT SEASON OF THE CHURCH YEAR WHERE WE CELEBRATE THE LIGHT OF CHRIST, COMING ON A DARK WORLD, THAT NIGHT WHERE THE FAMILY UNIT OF JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH WERE ALL TOGETHER AND EXPERIENCED THE ANNOINTMENT OF GOD. NOW, IF YOU ARE MARRIED WITH NO INTENTION OF HAVING CHILDREN… OR ARE SINGLE WITH NO CHILDREN AND ARE THINKING THIS SERIES WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY LIFE, KNOW THIS… YOU ARE PART OF THE FAMILY OF GOD, AND IT TAKES AN ENTIRE CHURCH TO RAISE CHILDREN! THE CHILDREN YOU SEE EVERY SUNDAY ARE YOUR SPIRITUAL SONS AND DAUGHTERS! BUT ALSO, PERHAPS YOU ARE A GOD-PARENT, AN AUNT OR UNCLE..YOU HAVE A DUTY IN HELPING TO RAISE THOSE CHILDREN AS WELL… SO THIS SERIES IS FOR ALL OF US. TODAY, INSTALLMENT ONE OF PRODUCING HEALTHY FAMILIES, MOTHERHOOD… I RECALL THE CUTE STORY OF MOTHER WHO RECEIVED A THANK YOU NOTE FROM A FELLOW MOTHER OF 3 CHILDREN. THE MOTHER WROTE THIS THANK YOU NOTE: DEAR ELLEN: MANY THANKS FOR THE PLAY PEN, IT IS BEING USED EVERY DAY FROM 2-3PM. AT THAT TIME I GET IN IT TO READ AND THE CHILDREN CAN’T GET NEAR ME! MOTHERHOOD… NOW WE ASK OURSELVES HERE IN THE YEAR 2006, IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN REALLY LEARN FROM MARY, THE MOTHER OF JESUS? ESPECIALLY GIVEN THE FACT THAT MARY IS OFEN PORTRAYED IN ART AS
IF YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE MARY ABOVE THE ALTAR IN ST. MARY’S CHAPEL, YOU WILL FIND A MAGNIFICENT RENDITION OF HER, BUT AGAIN, SOMEWHAT DETACHED FROM THE CHALLENGES OF TODAY’S FAMILY LIFE. IT’S TIME TO RECOVER WHAT MARY CAN MODEL FOR THE MODERN FAMILY!! TO THAT END, I URGE EACH OF YOU TO ATTEND THE MOVIE THE NATIVITY. IN THAT BEAUTIFUL PRODUCTION WE SEE MARY AS SHE REALLY IS… AS WE BRING MARY OUT FROM THE CANVAS AND INTO THE PEW THIS MORNING, WE REALIZE THAT HERE IS A WOMAN WHO KNEW THE PAINS OF LIFE’S TREMENDOUS COMPLICATIONS…
CONSIDER EVEN WHAT IT MEANT TO BE LIVING AS A VIRGIN IN THOSE DAYS… DEBORAH BELONICK, A MEMBER OF THE ORTHODOX CHURCH IN AMERICA AND AUTHOR OF FEMINISM VIRGINITY IN THE ANCIENT WORLD REPRESENTED
THIS VIRGIN SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE HELPED MARY ACCEPT THE CALL BY GABRIEL AS A MOTHER DESPITE PERSONAL RISK AND DISHONOR… DESPITE THE IRE OF A FIANCE’ WHO HAD THE POWER TO STONE HER… WE WONDER, WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE PAINFUL, THE PAIN OF CHILDBIRTH FOR MARY, OR THE PAIN OF SEEING THAT SAME SON DIE ON A CROSS? DO YOU SEE FROM THE BEAUTIFUL PORTRAIT-- TO A WOMAN WITH DIRT IN HER FINGERNAILS? CASE IN POINT, TRADITION TELLS US THAT AFTER HER SON DIED, MARY CAST LOTS WITH THE 12 APOSTLES IN ORDER TO CHOOSE A MISSION FIELD. ST. DIMITRI OF ROSTOV IN HIS 17TH CENTURY WRITINGS TELLS US THAT MARY ENDED UP PREACHING ON THE ISLAND OF MOUNT ATHOSE WHERE SHE PERSUADED PAGANS WHO WORSHIPPED APOLLO TO ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST AS SAVIOR! SHE WORKED MIRACLES THERE AND THE GIFTS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT WERE POURED OUT! ARE YOU SEEING MARY AT ALL IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT? MOTHERS, ARE YOU SENSING SOMEONE WHO HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU? IF YOU’RE NOT QUITE THERE YET, CONSIDER THAT DAY WHEN MARY’S NEPHEW WAS GETTING MARRIED…. IT WAS A BIG DAY OF COURSE, WEDDINGS IN THOSE DAYS WENT ON FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK! IN THIS WEDDING CELEBRATION, WE DISCOVER THREE GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT MARY AND GODLY MOTHERHOOD. AS WE GET INSIDE MARY’S HEART, WE SEE HER DEALING WITH A CRISIS AT THE WEDDING… IT MUST HAVE BEEN AN EPISCOPAL WEDDING… FOR THE SHEER REASON THAT PANIC SWEEPS THROUGH THE CROWD… NOT BECAUSE THE BRIDE, GROOM OR PREACHER DIDN’T SHOW UP.. NO, THE DAG-GUM WINE RAN OUT! MORE PEOPLE THAN THEY THOUGHT SHOWED UP AT THE WEDDING! MAJOR CRISIS! RABBI’S OF THE DAY HELD THAT WITHOUT WINE THERE IS NO JOY! WE FIND OUR 1ST LEARNING THROUGH THE INTERACTION BETWEEN JESUS AND MARY AS THEY SOLVE THE CRISIS.. MARY TO JESUS… JESUS, THEY HAVE NO WINE! WOMAN, WHAT DOES YOUR CONCERN HAVE TO DO WITH ME? MY HOUR HAS NOT YET COME,. MARY RE-DIRECTS TO THE HIRED HELP… WHAT EVER HE SAYS TO YOU … DO IT. YOU KNOW, THERE IS NO PLACE IN THE GOSPELS WHERE JESUS SPEAKS SOME SENTIMENTAL LOVE, OR EVEN DOES SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HIS MOTHER…. JESUS NEVER OFFERS MARY ANYTHING MORE THAN HE OFFERED ANY OTHER WOMAN! AND PART OF THE PARENTING STRUGGLE FOR MARY IS THAT SHE LOVED JESUS TOO MUCH FOR WHO HE WAS AS A HUMAN CHILD! SHE LOVED JESUS FOR WHO HE WAS….MORE THAN THE UNPREDICTABLE AND EVEN DANGEROUS BUSINESS HE’D BEEN CALLED TO. CAN YOU IMAGINE, REALIZING YOUR SON IS THE MESSIAH, PEOPLE ARE FALLING DOWN AROUND HIM, BUT YOU, AS THE MOTHER.. JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE HIS PANTS ARE ON STRAIGHT, AND HIS SHIRT MATCHES HIS SWEATER! THEY ARE LOOKING AT HIS COUNTENANCE, YOU’RE LOOKING INTO HIS EYES, WONDERING WHO’S SIDE OF THE FAMILY THOSE CAME FROM… ….LOVING THIS GUY FOR WHO HE IS. USING THAT AS A DIVING BOARD, LESSON ONE… DO WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN FOR WHOM GOD IS CREATING THEM TO BE, OR FOR WHO WE ARE CREATING THEM TO BE? AND THE IDENTITY WE ARE GIVING THEM? MAYBE WE’VE BEEN TRYING AND TRYING TO GIVE THEM AN IDENTITY WE WERE NEVER ABLE TO HOLD, AN IDENTITY WHICH WE DIDN’T HAVE THE CHANCE OR FREEDOM TO FULFILL… DO WE SOMETIMES LOVE THAT IDENTITY IN OUR CHILDREN MORE THAN OUR CHILDREN? MARY OVER AND OVER HAS TO SURRENDER THE IDENTITY SHE WAS BUILDING, SO HE COULD LIVE INTO THE IDENTITY GIVEN BY GOD! SHE HAD TO SURRENDER HER WILL SO THAT THE DIVINE NATURE THAT LIVED IN THE MESSIAH JESUS CHRIST MIGHT LIVE IN ALL HUMAN BEINGS… ONE OF THE WAYS IN WHICH WE KNOW WE MIGHT BE FALLING DOWN IN THIS AREA IS TO ASK…DO OUR VERY OWN CHILDREN COME TO WORSHIP ON SUNDAYS? HERE IN WASHINGTON, THERE ARE BIRTHDAY PARTIES FOR CHIDLREN, HOCKEY PRACTICES FOR OLDER KIDS ALL GOING ON BEFORE NOON ON SUNDAYS! IF YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT HERE AND ARE THERE, COULD IT BE WE ARE CHOOSING TO GIVEN THEM AN IDENTITY IN CULTURE BEFORE THEIR IDENTITY IN CHRIST? AGAIN, MAKING THEM WHOM WE WANT THEM TO BE INSTEAD OF LETTING THE LORD’S CHRIST SHAPE THEM? THIS PLAYS OUT IN THE RESPONSE JESUS GIVES BACK TO HER AND THE BEGINNING OF LESSON TWO..… WOMAN, WHAT DO YOUR CONCERNS HAVE TO DO WITH ME? THE FIRST THING WE REALIZE IS THAT JESUS NEVER CALLS HER MOTHER… THERE IS NO WHERE WHERE JESUS CALLS MARY MOM.. JESUS DOES NOT CALL HER MOTHER BECAUSE HE IS NOT LOOKING AT HER NOW ON THE BASIS OF A MOTHER-AND-SON RELATIONSHIP! PROVEN BY HIS NEXT STATEMENT… I-E…I CAN DO NOTHING BUT WHAT GOD MY FATHER WOULD HAVE ME DO.. CAN YOU SENSE MARY FEELING AS IF HER SON IS SLIPPING AWAY FROM HER…? AND MARY LOOKS DEEPLY INTO THE EYES OF HER SON, AND WITHOUT TAKING HER EYES OFF HIM, SPEAKS QUIETLY TO THE SERVANTS… WHATEVER HE SAYS TO YOU, DO IT… LESSON NUMBER TWO… WHEN THE CALL ON YOUR CHILD’S LIFE IS INITIATED… WHEN YOU CAN LOOK INTO THAT CHILD’S EYES AND KNOW THAT THEY ARE BEING LED BY GOD… WE RELEASE. WE RELEASE. AS I THINK ABOUT MY OWN LIFE, I RECALL THOSE DAYS WHEN I FELT CALLED TO GO INTO BROADCASTING… I REMEMBER BOTH MY PARENTS, RESPONDING THE WAY IN WHICH MARY DID… LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT CALL WOULD LEAD TO ANOTHER… MARY IN THIS 2ND LESSON TO US, REFUSES TO BARGE IN WITH HER OWN METHOD…. NEVER TAKING HER EYES OFF JESUS…DO WHAT HE TELLS YOU TO DO… AGAIN AN ACT REQUIRING A SURRENDER OF HER OWN WILL FOR THE WILL OF CHRIST. SOMEONE ONCE SAID THAT EVERY PERSON IS A DREAM AND AN IDEA OF GOD. WE TOO MUST THINK NOT OF OUR OWN WISHES AND OUR OWN DESIRES, BUT OF THE PURPOSE FOR WHICH GOD SENT US, AND OUR OFFSPRING INTO THE WORLD. THE THIRD LEARNING COMES FROM THE 6 WATERPOTS. FOR HIS MOTHER, JESUS TELLS THE SERVANTS TO FILL EACH OF THE 6 JARS WITH WATER… REMEMBER THE NUMBER 6 IS AN IMPERFECT NUMBER, IT REPRESENTS ALL THE IMPERFECTIONS OF THE PAST, IN THIS CASE, SPECIFICALLY JEWISH LAW… 7 IS ACTUALLY THE NUMBER WHICH IS COMPLETE AND PERFECT… JESUS CAME TO PUT IN THE PLACE OF THE LAW, A NEW WINE OF THE GOSPEL OF HIS GRACE.. IN OTHER WORDS, THE PAST CAN BE WASHED AWAY! IN FACT, OUR PAST CAN BE WASHED AWAY! WHAT A LEARNING FOR MOTHERS, FOR FATHERS, FOR FAMILIES… REALIZING THAT THROUGH JESUS, OUR PAST, OUR MEMORIES, THE ANXIETIES WE ONCE HAD CAN BE WASHED THROUGH JESUS! THOSE AREAS OF OUR LIVES THAT ARE DRY AND TIRED, CAN BE MADE NEW IN JESUS CHRIST! HOW DOES THIS 3RD LEARNING PLAY OUT? LET ME GIVE YOU A TRUE STORY. I REMEMBER A GRANDMOTHER TELLING ME THAT ON THEIR 50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, THEY GOT THEIR CHILDREN TOGETHER FOR A HUGE PARTY CELEBRATION… THEN, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT, WHILE THEY WERE GIVING TOASTS… THE MOTHER SAID TO THE CROWD… ON BEHALF OF YOUR DADDY AND ME… IF THERE WERE THINGS WE DID, OR DIDN’T DO THAT HURT YOU, WE ARE SO SORRY…AND WE HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE US… THE PAST WASHED AWAY! THEIR KIDS TELL ME THEY WERE AMAZED BECAUSE THEY GREW UP IN A NORMAL EVERYDAY FAMILY, THEY WERE STUNNED… BUT IT WAS AS IF NEW WINE CAME INTO THAT FAMILY STRUCTURE BECAUSE THE MOTHER WAS MAKING ROOM FOR DEEPER RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH REPENTANCE! THIS MEANS LIVNG A FAMILY LIFE WHERE WE NEW BEGINNINGS ARE POSSIBLE!! FAMILIES THAT AREN’T LIVING IN THE PAST, BUT EXPERIENCING FORGIVENESS, AND A NEW LEASE ON LIFE TOGETHER-- CLAIMING THE IDENTITY OF JESUS AS HE TAKES THOSE DRIED OUT JARS, THOSE DRIED OUR RELATIONSHIPS AND TRANSFORMS THEM! YOU MIGHT BE ASKING, HOW DO WE AS PARENTS BEGIN TO LIVE INTO THESE THREE LEARNINGS? WHERE DO WE BEGIN? HOW DO I LOVE MY CHILD FOR WHO GOD IS MAKING THEM TO BE, VERSES WHAT I WANT THEM TO BE? SECOND, HOW DO I KNOW THEY ARE BEING LED BY GOD, HOW DO I KNOW WHEN TO RELEASE? AND THIRD, HOW DO I LIVE INTO THE GOOD WINE? HOW CAN I NOT LIVE IN PAST HURTS, BUT CLAIM THE FUTURE GOD WANTS FOR ME AND MY FAMILY? I BELIEVE IT ALL BEGINS THE WAY IT BEGAN FOR MARY. BEFORE ANY OF THIS BEGAN, SHE WAS VISITED BY GABRIEL THE ARCHANGEL, A RELATIONSHIP BEGAN WITH GOD THAT TRANSFORMED HER. SO IT GOES WITH US… PRODUCING A HEALTHY FAMILY BEGINS WITH YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS! THIS IS WHY EVERY SUNDAY AD INFINITUM AT ALL SAINTS, THERE WILL BE AN EXPRESSED SUNDAY MORNING COURSE ON PARENTING! WE HAVE GOT TO GIVE YOU THE TOOLS! THIS MORNING WE BEGIN AN ALPHA COURSE FOR PARENTS, NEXT TERM, A COURSE SPECIFICALLY ON CHRISTIAN PARENTING! ON WEDNESDAY WE WILL LAUNCH OUR LIFE GROUPS… A CRITICAL MINISTRY FOR ALL OF US, INCLUDING PARENTS WHERE YOU CAN BE IN A GROUP WITH OTHERS WHO ARE EXPERIENCING THE SAME JOYS AND SORROWS! YOUR WALK WITH JESUS IS MOST IMPORTANT! ONLY 1 OUT OF EVERY 1,150 MARRIAGES BETWEEN BELIEVING CHRISTIAN COUPLES WHO PRAY TOGETHER REGULARLY, ENDS IN DIVORCE. THIS MORNING, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO CONSIDER DOING 2 THINGS… FIRST, I URGE EACH OF YOU MOTHERS AND FATHERS TO BEGIN SIMPLY SAYING THE LORD’S PRAYER TOGETHER EVERY MORNING… IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, PRAY WITH THEM, GET A FEEL FOR WHERE THEIR HEART IS! IT’S BEEN SAID THAT IN WASHINGTON, THE AVERAGE FATHER HAS ONLY 17 SECONDS A DAY OF MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH HIS CHILD… THROUGH PRAYER TIME, CHANGE THAT! SOME OF YOU MIGHT BE DOING JUST THAT NOW, GRREAT! BUT IF YOU AREN’T….DON’T LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT PRAYING FOR EACH OTHER… SECONDLY, OUT OF A SENSE OF LOOKING BACK, I WOULD LOVE EVERYONE WHO ONCE WAS, OR IS NOW A CHILD…THAT MEANS ALL OF YOU.. I WOULD LIKE TO CHALLENGE YOU TO WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR MOTHER, TELLING HER OF THOSE THINGS SPECIFICALLY THAT WORKED IN YOUR LIFE… THINGS SHE DID THAT REFLECTED THE MOTHERHOOD OF MARY…. IF YOUR MOTHER IS DECEASED, WRITE IT ANYWAY AND PUT IT IN YOUR BIBLE. IF YOUR MOTHER DID ONLY ONE THING THAT REFLECTED MARY, GREAT… TELL HER WHAT YOU FIND YOURSELF DOING BECAUSE OF WHAT SHE DID IN YOUR LIFE, TELL HER WHERE THE NEW WINE IS IN YOUR LIFE AND MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU WERE RAISED. AND THEN STEP BACK AND WATCH OUR LORD’S CHRIST INJECT YOUR FAMILY WITH HEALTH AND STABILITY YOU NEVER DREAMED OF. LET US PRAY. |
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