 |
Get Involved |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Producing Healthy Families, Part Three HELP US LORD TO BE SO CONNECTED TO YOU THAT WE MIGHT BE THE SERVANT OF OTHERS... A DAD IS A MENDER OF TOYS, A LEADER OF BOYS HE’S A CHANGER OF FUSES, A HEALER OF BRUISES A MOVER OF COUCHES, A HEALER OF OUCHES HE’S A HANGER OF SCREENS, A COUNSELOR OF TEENS… A POUNDER OF NAILS, A TELLER OF TALES.. HE’S A DRYER OF DISHES, A FULFILLER OF WISHES… FATHERHOOD.. ONE OF OUR PARISHIONERS PUT IT THIS WAY.. IT’S THE FATHER’S DUTY TO GIVE CHILDREN NEW DISCOVERIES, NEW EXPERIENCES NEW HORIZONS… IT’S THE MOTHERS JOB TO KEEP THE CHILDREN ALIVE! BUT MOST UNIQUE, A FATHER IS A MAN WHO REFLECTS THE IMAGE OF HIS FATHER IN HEAVEN… TODAY WE WRAP UP OUR 3 WEEK SERIES: PRODUCING HEALTHY FAMILIES. TWO WEEKS AGO, WE BEGAN BY LOOKING AT MARY, THROUGH A SERMON ENTITLED: MARY MATTERS FOR MOTHERHOOD, … LAST WEEK, WE TOOK OUT OUR BINOCULARS AND ZEROED IN ON THE FAMILY, IN A SERMON ENTITLED FAMILY FOCUS… SO, MOTHERHOOD, FAMILY FOCUS AND NOW TODAY, LOOKING AGAIN AT THE FAMILY, SPECIFICALLY FATHERHOOD.. LOOKING AT THE CHOICES JOSEPH MADE, TO SHAPE HIS OWN SENSE OF FATHERHOOD. AND I BELIEVE FATHERHOOD NEEDS SHAPING TODAY… IN FACT, I BELIEVE WE ARE IN A CRISIS WHEN IT COMES TO FATHERHOOD IN THIS COUNTRY… …THE ABSENCE OF FATHEROOD IS EVIDENT ALL AROUND US. CONSIDER THIS FROM SOCIOLOGIST CARL JUNG… THAT 20TH CENTURY SWISS PSYCHIATRIST WROTE: THE LIBIDO OF THE AMERICAN MALE IS FOCUSED ALMOST ENTIRELY UPON HIS BUSINESS SO THAT AS A HUSBAND, HE IS GLAD TO HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITIES. HE GIVES COMPLETE DIRECTION OF HIS FAMILY LIFE OVER TO HIS WIFE. THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL GIVING INDEPENDENCE TO THE AMERICAN WOMAN. IT IS WHAT I CALL THE LAZINESS OF THE AMERICAN MAN. IN 1983, THE WASHINGTON POST CONTINUED THAT ANALYSIS WITH AN ARTICLE ENTITLED: THE NEW FATHERLESS…. PERHAPS THE MOST TRAGIC STATEMENT OF DECLINE AND LOSS OF FATHERHOOD IN WESTERN CULTURE IS THE FACT THAT IT IS NOT EVEN NECESSARY NOW FOR A WOMAN TO OBTAIN THE CONSENT OF HER CHILD’S FATHER BEFORE HAVING IT ABORTED, WHETHER SHE IS MARRIED OR NOT. THE NEED FOR MEN TO COMMIT THEMSELVES TO CHRISTIAN FATHERING AND CHRISTIAN HUSBANDING IS CRUCIAL… NOW LET ME PLANT SOMETHING THAT I KNOW IS CONTROVERSIAL, YET IT NEEDS TO BE SAID… IT’S ALMOST AS CONTROVERSIAL AS SOMETHING I TOLD YOU LAST WEEK… REMEMBER LAST WEEK, I SAID… CHILDREN CANNOT BE THE CENTER OF THE FAMILY… THE CENTER OF THE FAMILY MUST BE HUSBAND AND WIFE BUILT ON THE ROCK EVERYTHING FLOWS OUT OF THAT! THIS MORNING’S CONTROVERSIAL THOUGHT FOR PRODUCING HEALTHY FAMILIES COMES FROM JOHN YATES, RECTOR OF THE FALLS CHURCH WHO WROTE THAT WONDERFUL BOOK: FOR THE LIFE OF THE FAMILY… YATES, WRITES: THE BIBLE SPEAKS CLEARLY AND REPEATEDLY ABOUT THE HUSBAND/FATHER NEEDING TO BE THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE… AT FIRST GLANCE, ONE MIGHT TAKE OFFENSE AT THAT, THINKING THAT THE HUSBAND MUST BE WISER AND MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE THAN THE WIFE… THAT’S NOT WHAT IT’S SAYING! BEING SPIRITUAL HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD DOESN’T MEAN BEING BOSS OF THE HOUSEHOLD, IT DOES IMPLY THAT THE FATHER/HUSBAND HAS A CERTAIN RESPONSIBILITY TO GOD FOR THE CARE AND WELL BEING OF THE FAMILY. HEADSHIP RELATES TO THE MANNER IN WHICH CHRIST LOVES HIS CHURCH… WE READ IN EPHESIANS 5… HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER. THAT’S THE KIND OF HEADSHIP I’M TALKING ABOUT!
WHY IS IT THAT 63% OF US FATHERS SAID WE WOULD RATHER WORK LATE THAN GO HOME?
THE THREE THINGS FATHERS SAY MOST TO THEIR KIDS ARE:
WHY IS IT THAT THE AVERAGE FATHER HAS ON AVERAGE, ONLY 17 SECONDS A DAY OF MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH HIS CHILDREN! FATHERS IN THIS ROOM THIS MORNING, WE NEED YOU TO STAND UP AND BE FATHERS! HERE IS THE HONEST TRUTH.. IF THE FATHER GOES TO CHURCH, THE WIFE WILL NORMALLY FOLLOW. IF THE WIFE GOES TO CHURCH ONLY, CHANCES ARE THE HUSBAND WILL NOT FOLLOW, IT’S JUST A FACT. THANK GOODNESS, WOMEN HAVE MARY, AND MEN HAVE JOSEPH, HUSBAND OF MARY, EARTHLY FATHER OF JESUS. WE DON’T KNOW A WHOLE LOT ABOUT JOSEPH, BUT WE DO KNOW HE NORMALLY ALWAYS GETS THE SHORT END OF THE DEAL IN EVERY CHRISTMAS SERMON, …ALWAYS IN THE BACKGROUND SAYING NOTHING…TYPICAL DAD. EVEN IN TODAY’S GOSPEL, THERE’S JESUS PREACHING IN THE SYNAGOGUE AND PEOPLE ARE DUMBFOUNDED AT HIS WISDOM… AND GUESS WHAT THEY SAY, IS NOT THIS JOSEPH’S SON? YOU KNOW THAT CARPENTER FROM NAZARETH? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT? THINK ABOUT IT…! THAT HUDSON ZADIG, WHAT A GUY!!! WAIT A MINUTE, ISN’T HE AL ZADIG’S SON? HOW CAN THAT BE? THIS GUY GETS NO RESPECT! BUT ISN’T THIS THE GENIUS OF JOSEPH, HE’S A NORMAL GUY! HE’S A GUYS GUY! WORKED WITH BOTH THE STRENGTH OF HIS HANDS, AND THE STRENGTH OF HIS INTEGRITY…
YOU SEE, THERE WERE CRITICAL CHOICES THAT JOSEPH HAD TO MAKE ALONG HIS LIFE’S JOURNEY TO CARRY OUT THE WILL OF HIS FATHER, FOR HIS FAMILY! MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OF THIS THAT THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH MADE HIM THE PATRON SAINT OF 4 THINGS… HE IS THE PATRON SAINT:
AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
JOSEPH, AN EVERYDAY GUY, YET THROUGH CHOICE AFTER CHOICE, HE SHAPES THE LIFE OF HIS SON JESUS. DADS OUT THERE, UNCLES, GODFATHERS, GRANDFATHERS, THIS KIND OF FATHERHOOD MUST BE RECLAIMED FROM THE ASHES. IN LAST WEEK’S SERMON, FAMILY FOCUS, I SAID THE MOST CRITICAL WAY TO BRING THE FAMILY INTO CLARITY AND FOCUS IS THROUGH THIS PRIORITY STRUCTURE:
I ALSO SAID THAT LIKE A PIANO OR GUITAR, THAT GET OUT OF TUNE QUICKLY, SO CAN THE LIFE OF THE FAMILY! IT’S EASY TO GET SO BUSY THAT WE BEGIN MAKING BAD CHOICES… SO, TO HELP KEEP THE FAMILY IN FOCUS, I INTRODUCED SEVERAL FOCAL KEYS. WE USED THE WORD FAMILY AS OUR GUIDE… F A AND M KNOWING WHERE TO TURN WHEN THE MESSES OF FAMILY LIFE INEVITABLY HIT. WE WILL LOOK AT THE FINAL 3 TODAY THROUGH THE EYES OF JOSEPH. LET’S CONTINUE, LOOKING AT ‘I’… ‘I’ IS INVESTMENT. THINK HERE ABOUT JOSEPH, THAT LONG WALK TO BETHLEHEM, THAT WALK TO EGYPT… HERE IS A MAN INVESTED IN WHAT GOD HAD GIVEN HIM. WE THINK OF OUR OWN LIVES…. INVESTING IN JESUS.. INVESTING OUR TIME IN SUCH A WAY THAT WE REALIZE OUR FIRST PURPOSE IN LIFE, IS OUR PRAYER LIFE, FOLLOWED BY OUR MINISTRY AT THE KITCHEN TABLE! THE QUESTION IS, ARE WE HOME ENOUGH TO SIT DOWN? ONE CHILD PSYCHIATRIST IN BETHESDA SAID THAT IN WASHINGTON THERE IS A REAL PROBLEM OF CHILD NEGLECT, WHERE PARENTS ARE JUST TOO BUSY. HE SAID IT’S NOT THAT YOU PARENTS DON’T CARE, YOU’RE JUST STRETCHED TOO THIN! AND HERE IS WHERE THE RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD. IF WE ARE INVESTING MORE OF OURSELVES IN A GODLY HOME, IT WILL MEAN LESS TIME IN OTHER PLACES… THAT CAN BE PAINFUL, ESPECIALLY TO THOSE ON THE PROFESSIONAL LADDER. CASE IN POINT..SOME YEARS AGO, DR. GEORGE ANDERSON WAS ELECTED TO THE PRESTIGIOUS PRESIDENCY OF THE LUTHERAN CHURCH IN AMERICA. NOT LONG AFTER THE ELECTION, HE ENDED UP REFUSING THE ELECTION FOR THIS REASON… AND I QUOTE HIM HERE… WE COULD HAVE WORKED OUT THE DETAILS OF THIS MINISTRY, BUT THE ISSUE IS HOW CLOSE I CAN BE WITH MY CHILDREN OVER THE NEXT FEW YEARS… AT THIS AGE, THEY BEGIN TALKING TO YOU, SHARING WHAT THEY THINK, AND I DON’T WANT TO MISS IT! MY CHILDREN ARE NOT A RESPONSIBILITY, THEY ARE A JOY TO ME… INVESTING HERE, MEANS REALIZING WE CAN’T HAVE IT ALL! IT MEANS CUTTING THINGS OUT OF OUR LIFE WE MIGHT HOLD VERY DEARLY! INVESTMENTS. L FOR THIS… WHAT ARE YOUR CHILDREN LEARNING FROM YOU? ARE YOU MODELLING SIMPLE BUSY-NESS TO THEM? IF THEIR TEACHER WERE TO ASK THEM… TELL ME ONE THING YOU HAVE LEARNED, WHAT WOULD THEY SAY? YOU SEE, EVERYTHING WE DO TEACHES. IN 1980, BRITISH SCHOLAR TOM SMAIL WROTE A BOOK CALLED: THE FORGOTTEN FATHER, HE TELLS THE STORY OF HIS OWN SON WHO CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL ONE DAY WITH A PICTURE HE HAD DRAWN IN CLASS, IN WHICH THE CENTRAL FIGURE WAS A MAN, WITH A NEWSPAPER HELD OUT AT ARM’S LENGTH IN FRONT OF HIM, VEILING HIM FROM EVERYTHING ELSE AND COMPLETELY ABSORBING HIS ATTENTION. WHO IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE I SAID… THE SON LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID… WHY YOU OF COURSE…. IF YOUR CHILD COULD DRAW YOU, WHAT WOULD HE DRAW? HOW WOULD SHE CHARACTERIZE YOU? ARE THEY LEARNING FROM US THE POWER OF A PRAYING FATHER, MOTHER? ARE THEY LEARNING FROM US THAT PRIORITY STRUCTURE OF LOVING LORD, SPOUSE AND CHILD IN THAT ORDER? HEAR THIS ETERNAL TRUTH.. CHILDREN WILL TEND TO ADOPT THE BELIEFS OF THOSE WHOM THEY INSTINCTIVELY RECOGNIZE AS HAPPY, AND NO OTHERS. WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE IN OUR LIVES SO THAT WE BEGIN TO MODEL, SO THAT THEY BEGIN TO LEARN WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A SON, DAUGHTER, OF EARTHLY PARENTS, OF AN ETERNAL FATHER? I BELIEVE DADS, OUR JOB IS TO LIVE THE JOY JOSEPH LIVED. AS WE RECOVER JOSEPHS’S LIVELIHOOD FOR TODAY’S FATHER HOOD, I BELIEVE IT MEANS THIS…
SO THAT CHILDREN LEARN THAT WORSHIP IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE CAN DO IN LIFE!
HOW ABOUT THAT INSTEAD OF YET ANOTHER NIGHT OUT?
SO CHILDREN LEARN THAT HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH FATHER WILL REFLECT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HEAVENLY FATHER! AND Y, YEARNING… YEARNING TO LIVE A LIFE COMMITTED TO TWO ESSENTIAL THINGS: YEARNING TO LIVE LIFE WITH THIS GOD SHAPED FOCUS ON THE FAMILY…OVER YOUR FOCUS ON YOUR BUSINESS…NUMBER ONE… AND NUMBER TWO…YEARNING TO HELP OTHER MEN SPECIFICALLY, A YEARNING TO HELP OTHER FAMILIES RECLAIM WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GOD SHAPED FAMILY! A YEARNING TO GATHER IN OTHERS! FATHERS AND MOTHERS, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU INVITED ANOTHER TO CHURCH? EVERYTHING WE’VE TALKED ABOUT OVER THE LAST 3 WEEKS ISN’T JUST INTENDED FOR YOU AND YOUR SELF FULFILLMENT! NO! IT’S REALLY INTENDED FOR YOU TO TAKE THIS OUT TO THE WORLD AND SEE YOUSELF AS A MISSIONARY TO OTHER PEOPLE.. ESPECIALLY IN YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC WHETHER SINGLE, MARRIED, OLDER, YOUNGER! AS I LOOK BACK OVER THE PAST 12 MONTHS, I SEE A SEA OF MISSED OPPORTUNITIES IN MY OWN LIFE. I THINK OF A MAN WHO HAD A DAUGHTER IN MY SON’S PRE-K CLASS IN SCHOOL LAST YEAR. HE TRAGICALLY LOST HIS WIFE IN 2006 AND NOW FACES BRINGING UP 2 GIRLS, ALONE… I NEVER INVITED HIM HERE, AND NOW SHE GOES TO ANOTHER SCHOOL….AND HAVEN’T SEEN THEM SINCE…AND I KICK MYSELF! I KICK MYSELF BECAUSE I KNOW THAT GOD’S PLAN FOR FAMILIES WORKS! HIS PRIORITY STRUCTURE WORKS!
THE GOOD NEWS IN THIS LIFESTYLE IS ENDLESS! NEWSWEEK REPORTED IN 1982 THAT CHILDREN WHO ARE CLOSE TO THEIR FATHER FOR INSTANCE… WHO ARE FREQUENTLY CUDDLED AND HUGGED, NOT ONLY GROW UP TO BE MORE ADAPTABLE, AND BETTER ABLE TO WITHSTAND STRESS, BUT THEY ALSO LEARN MORE EASILY…. I WOULD SAY THEIR HEARTS GROW UP IN A DIFFERENT SHAPE! A GOD CENTERED SHAPE! THIS IS THE GOOD NEWS, THIS IS THE ROOT OF WHY WE YEARN TO TELL OTHERS…! AND SO MY FRIENDS, TO HELP YOU KEEP THE FOCUS, AND AS YOUR HOMEWORK FOR THIS WEEK, I ASK YOU TO TEAR OUT THAT PORTION IN YOUR BULLETIN INSERT THAT SAYS: INTENDED FOR YOUR BATHROOM MIRROR.. LOVE THE LORD UNDERNEATH NOW WITH A HOW TOO… THE FAMILY ACRONYM: F FOR FAITHFULNESS AND AGAIN, PRODUCING HEALTHY FAMILIES.. MY FRIENDS, AT THE END OF THE DAY, LIVING THIS WAY IS A CALL OF GOD WE CAN ACCEPT OR REFUSE… ONE SINGLE FAMILY AND THE CHILDREN OF THAT FAMILY CAN DO MARVELOUS THINGS TO AFFECT THE WORLD, OR DEVASTATING THINGS TO DESTROY IT. HITLER WAS ONE MAN BORN INTO ONE FAMILY… AND WE REALIZE THAT THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE, ROCKS THE WORLD…. IF I’M KING OF MY LIFE, I WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE A SELF-CENTERED LIFE… WHEN CHRIST IS KING IN MY LIFE, PEACE AND PURPOSE WILL RADIATE… MOTHERS, FATHERS, AUNTS, UNCLES, GODPARENTS, GRANDPARENTS… WHO IS REALLY KING IN YOUR LIFE? JUST A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, CHRISTIAN RECORDING ARTIST JANA ALYRA RECORDED A SONG CALLED: HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU…HOW MUCH DO I CARE… SHE RECORDED THIS SONG WITH HER LITTLE 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, THE DAUGHTER SINGING ON THE REFRAIN… HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU… HEARING THAT SONG ALWAYS MELTS MY HEART BECAUSE IT IS SO PRECIOUS, HEARING DAUGHTER SING WITH HER MOTHER. JUST ONE YEAR AFTER THAT ALBUM CAME OUT, JANA WAS INVOLVED IN A CAR CRASH, IN WHICH THAT SAME DAUGHTER DIED… AND NOW, LISTENING TO THAT SAME SONG HAS SUCH DIFFERENT MEANING… HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU… I LOVE YOU SO MUCH CHILD I WANT TO PLANT JESUS IN YOUR LIFE AND THROUGH THAT ADORE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART! SO WE CAN LIVE ETERNALLY! HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU? LET ME DEMONSTRATE THAT BY THE WAY I LIVE AND BY THE PRIORITIES IN CHRIST THAT ARE SET! I LISTEN TO THAT SONG WHEN I FEEL AS IF LIFE IS AND ITS DEMANDS ARE SWALLOWING ME UP… HOW MJUCH DO I LOVE YOU? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, THAT WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME, I WANT YOU TO SEE THE VERY PRESENCE OF GOD NOT AN OUT OF CONTROL PARENT. AS WE DRAW THIS PREACHING SERIES TO A CLOSE, LET ME ASK YOU TO CLOSE YOUR EYES, AS YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHALLENGE OF THESE LAST 3 WEEKS… I BELIEVE GOD IS CALLING EACH OF US TO HELP RAISE HIS FAMILY, WHETHER WE HAVE ONE OR NOT.. AND IF YOU’RE DOUBTING WHETHER YOU CAN LIVE THIS WAY, WITH EYES SHUT, HEAR THESE WORDS FROM GOD, WHO SAID THEM TO JEREMIAH, RIGHT AFTER GOD ASKED JEREMIAH TO BE HIS PREACHER TO THE WORLD… GOD SAID… JEREMIAH… BEFORE I FORMED YOU IN THE WOMB, I KNEW YOU.. BEFORE YOU WERE BORN I SET YOU APART I APPOINTED YOU FOR THIS VERY CALL… DON’T BE AFRAID, FOR I AM WITH YOU… THE LORD REACHES OUT HIS HAND, TOUCHES JEREMIAH’S MOUTH AND SAYS… NOW I HAVE PUT WORDS IN YOUR MOUTH….. LET US PRAY. Producing Healthy Families: 3 Part Preaching Series Session One: January 14, 2007 Mary Matters for Motherhood CUT OUT AND PASTE…..
THE FAMILY ACRONYM: F. Faithfulness to:
A. Appreciating each member of the family…
M. Going back to Christ in the messes of life
I. Investing yourself into the family structure
L. Realizing you children are learning from everything you do Y. Yearning to:
Recommended Reading: What Really Matters at Home, John and Susan Yates. Word Publishing, 1992. |
 |